Selective Hearing in the Family Hurts Everyone

Jesus uses the image of sheep and a shepherd in John 10:1-5.

The sheep recognize and trust the shepherd's voice because of how the shepherd provides for them. The same is true for a youngster who trusts his or her parent's voice. Jesus, like the shepherd and father, asks us to trust Him because He wants to take care of us and guide us to wonderful places.

However, just following Jesus is not as simple as we would like to believe. The truth is, we've let voices into our life that aren't pointing us to Jesus. And we've learned to live with it. With so many voices urging us what to do, how can we actually hear God's voice?

The first point is God's gift of scripture. It contains Jesus' life-giving words.

We have the promise of God's Spirit to help and be with us forever; the Spirit of Truth inside us. It possesses the strength and discernment that can only be got from God.

The question is whether we are willing to listen. Are we conditioning our ears? One of the most difficult tasks is that we attempt to listen just for God's voice. God intended for us to go together via the community. It is all too easy to become distracted by sounds, so having those who direct us to Jesus can help us stay on course.

Selective hearing, also known as hearing loss through attention, is a frequent condition that affects a wide variety of people. It happens when we unintentionally filter out noises while dealing with a stimulus that we have chosen to focus on or are really interested in.

Some instances include missing the sound of a doorbell while playing a video game, failing to hear traffic while listening to someone talks and zoning out on a ringing phone call while working on a crossword puzzle.

In these cases, the loudness of the activity we're engaged in does not totally drown out the noise of the background, but our brains choose to selectively focus on one signal.

Does your youngster pay attention just when they hear terms they like, such as ice cream? When a person hears just what is essential to them, this is referred to as selective hearing. It has nothing to do with hearing acuity; it occurs as a result of the brain's prioritization of sounds.

When a child's brain is bombarded with too many sound sources, the brain responds by "tuning out" what appears to be less essential. Men are sometimes held up as the poster children for selective hearing, but women are just as culpable.

Every day, we are bombarded with a plethora of noises. Consider the following scenario on a regular weekday morning: The news is on, the birds are singing, the coffee pot is bubbling, the dishwasher is running, your husband is talking to you, and you are listening to the sounds of the upstairs shower to ensure your child is getting ready for school. 

Despite all of this, you instantly hear the traffic report for the route you typically use.

Selective hearing can assist your brain in recognizing and noticing the most relevant information.

At lower levels of awareness, the brain processes sensory information automatically. When sensory information (including sound) enters the brain, it is processed as follows:

• ·       Filtering and improving - for example, notifying you when your name is called.
• ·       Selective Perception, - for example, being unable to appreciate a delicious meal while stressed.
• ·       Sensory contrast - the difference in brightness between a candle in a dark room and the identical candle outside in the sunlight.
• ·       Prioritizing – for example, the feel of your garments is irrelevant until there is a tag rubbing against your skin.

This processing is essential and can be beneficial; the cocktail party effect is an example of one of these mechanisms at the action. In a gathering of individuals, with many conversations and noise coming from all directions, the brain may tune towards the most important person to hear and disregard the other discussions. Another example is how a new mother appears to acquire super hearing when it comes to hearing her baby scream and will quickly wake up yet sleep through other, louder sounds. 

How to Manage Selective Hearing

First, check sure you don't have a hearing impairment. Middle ear fluid is a common cause of variable hearing loss in children. Adults with high-frequency hearing loss due to aging will find it more difficult to interpret speech. An audiologist can perform a basic hearing test to identify whether any underlying hearing issues need to be treated.

Before speaking, get someone's attention. Saying their name, using a soft touch, and making eye contact are all effective methods to prepare the brain to absorb the information you wish to give. When you're attempting to have a conversation, make sure your earphones are removed, the TV is muted, or the phone/computer is not in use.

Make it brief. Most adults will lose interest in a topic after approximately six minutes if it is not engaging to them. For youngsters, one or two words may suffice: "Pajamas!" rather than "I want you to go upstairs, locate your yellow pajamas, put them on, and remember to throw your filthy clothes in the hamper."

Most essential, set a good example of listening. Give people your entire attention and ask them to do the same in return. It is a method of improving hearing that has nothing to do with the ears.

Every aspect of our lives must be given over to God. When we place too much emphasis on who we are right now, it becomes difficult to hear His call to transformation. When we have poor self-esteem, God's words of encouragement are muffled.

God cannot speak to someone who is unable to hear a call to change, let go, or simply rest in Him. God is succinct; He just says what is necessary. He will not fill the quiet to make us feel spiritual if we are not inclined to respond to His messages. But if we seek Him with all of our hearts, He will respond.

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (Isa. 30:15).

When we build walls around ourselves, admitting only those who agree with us, and shutting out those whom God may send to challenge us, expand our vision, enlarge our hearts, or help us grow as the people God wants us to be—when we shut such people out of our lives, we set ourselves up for the crash that occurs when reality hits and we realize we were wrong.

But we don't have to be scared if we believe in God's love for us. “Your power will be found in stillness and trust.” We don't need to hide behind barriers when we trust God. When we trust God, we don't need to surround ourselves with only individuals who share our beliefs. When we believe God, we don't have to be afraid of a prophet or preacher who reads passages from the Bible with which we don’t agree.

We don't have to be frightened because if we take a deep breath and relax our defenses long enough to hear God, we will learn how much God loves us and how much better our lives and the world can be if we listen.